Off No Bank

#EntrepreneurOfTheWeek – Tomer Maor
#Post4

Alright, now that we’ve recovered from that ridiculous headline —
this post is about something everyone here deals with: banks.
Or more precisely — dangerous mistakes people make with banks, why they’re dangerous, what to avoid at all costs, and what to do so you don’t become the person whose bank won’t open an account, shuts their account down, or simply doesn’t want to work with them.

In other words, this post is:

How NOT to Become the… you see it coming, right?
Off No Bank

Let’s go.

⭐ First: To understand what not to do, you must look at things from the bank’s point of view.

That’s why I’m here.

We’re going to talk a bit about regulation (hopefully you won’t fall asleep) and understand what absolutely should NOT be done.

Banks are not our “enemy.”
They don’t ask for documents or impose requirements because they enjoy annoying us.
The bank is absolutely terrified — really, deeply terrified — of the authorities.

Let’s start with the basics. You’ve probably heard these terms:

➡️ CIP
➡️ BSA
➡️ Beneficial Ownership

🔹 CIP = Customer Identification Program

This isn’t a random internal bank policy. (Well — in some ways it is, but more on that in a moment.)
It is a mandatory federal requirement.

Its origin is in the Patriot Act (the one enacted after 9/11).
Why mention 9/11?
Because when you understand that this entire regulatory framework was born out of the largest terror attack on U.S. soil, you realize these rules weren’t created to annoy you — and trying to outsmart them is a really bad idea.

Based on that law, regulations were issued requiring banks to:

• Collect minimum identifying info
(full name, date of birth, REAL residential address, ID number)
• Verify identity (documents / databases)
• Keep records
• Screen customers against government watch lists

In simple terms:

❗ A bank cannot open an account for someone it cannot fully identify.

Why do they care where you live?
Because the law requires it.
A real residential address is a basic condition for identifying an individual.

Without it — from the bank’s perspective, you’re a fictional character.

That’s why even online banks like Mercury ask:
“Where do you live? Please prove it.”

How do you prove it?
✔ Utility bills: water, gas, electricity, property tax
❌ Not accepted: address on your ID card; a photo of an Amazon package; a random envelope from your aunt in France.

Why do different banks have different rules?
Because CIP is risk-based.
Federal rules are the same, but each bank decides how much risk it’s willing to take.
So a bank may initially allow accounts for non-residents… then later change its risk profile and close all those accounts.

At the end of the day, the bank only cares about:

🔍 Where the money comes from
🔍 Why it’s coming
🔍 Where it’s going
🔍 And who REALLY controls the account

Which is exactly where the BSA comes in.

🔹 BSA = Bank Secrecy Act

This is the main U.S. anti–money laundering law.
It requires every bank to maintain a full AML program, monitoring systems, red-flag detection, mandatory reporting, etc.
CIP is just one component of that.

So basically:

BSA = what’s happening with the money

CIP = who is doing it

And what happens when information isn’t accurate?

Here comes the fun part — and where you may become (brace yourself):

Off No Bank.

The law explicitly states:

If the bank does not have a “reasonable belief” regarding the true identity of the customer —
👉 the account must be paused, frozen, or closed.

And the cherry on top?

📌 The bank will file a Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) —
and they will never tell you about it.

🔥 Now let’s translate this into common real-life scenarios in account opening:
1. A service provider lists THEMSELVES as manager of your company and opens the bank account on your behalf.

Great service, very nice person, has “connections” at the bank, and opens many accounts using their info instead of yours.
You may not even know it happened.

But the bank thinks THEY are the customer.
You? You don’t exist.

So when money enters from you — red flag.
When you need something —
the bank has no idea who you are.

2. A service provider “knows a banker.”

They forward your documents, an account gets opened, and the bank receives some random address you’ve never heard of — maybe even the address of a property you bought.

Great for your tenant John Smith, by the way —
he now gets your debit card delivered to his new drug den in the suburbs.

Common denominator in both cases?

You don’t get your account info from the bank.
You get it from the service provider.

Huge red flag.
Huge risk.
Huge “Off No Bank.”

🔥 Personal vs Business Bank Account (and the endless confusion)

If I got a dollar every time I explained this, I’d have…
well… a lot of dollars.

If you have a company bank account:

✔ It is ONLY for the company.
❌ No Amazon gifts for your kids
❌ No private tutoring payments
❌ No personal treats for yourself

You also cannot deposit into that account:

checks written to you personally

direct deposits addressed personally to you

And the reverse is also true.

And by the way — the U.S. government no longer issues paper checks.
Only direct deposits.
So if you think you’ll get a government check and deposit it in Israel — you’re wrong.
You need a U.S. account.

⚠️ Final word: Don’t underestimate banking rules.

The consequences can be severe.

I’ve already had to retrieve funds from Homeland Security
because some genius thought he knew how to open a Bank of America account on his own.

I’ve chased checks all over the U.S.
because another genius used some random old address from someone he once rented from —
and when the bank later discovered documentation issues, they closed the account and mailed the remaining balance to that address.

Don’t be…

Off No Bank
And the images?

At this point Jept will probably block me for all the trash-talk…
Check out the washing machine picture — “money laundering,” get it?
I included the screenshot because it cracked me up.